How Did I Miss It? I've Been Here The Whole Time!

"It's been a year already, and I missed the whole thing!" That's what I said last week when we were celebrating our baby girl's birthday. The youngest of our 4 children (who I refer to as Petunia here in my noisy corner of the blogosphere) turned 1 last week and I really do feel like I missed the whole year. No, I was not working another job, too involved in activities, or backpacking across Europe. I was here, doing my mommy, wife, and homeschooling thing. Every. Day. I know that time whizzes by fast, and that everything always seems like a blur, but this feeling of  "missing it" feels like more than just time flying.

I suppose it would be easy for me to chalk it up to our absolutely crazy year. We moved across the country just 3 weeks after Petunia was born, and then we moved again just shy of 6 months later. Now that story is a whole series of blog posts within itself! I plan to tell you all about it soon, I'm honestly still processing it myself ;) So every time I talk about how I feel like I missed it, everyone is quick to point to this crazy year. But it's simply not true. Well, maybe it's partially true, but this isn't the first time I have felt this way. I feel this way about all of my children and their "baby year" as I like to call it. I am willing to bet (and really hoping) that I am not the only one who feels this way. Anyone else have that guilty, "bad mom" syndrome come on you when you have to dig out the baby pictures to remind yourself what it was like?

Here's what I think a big part of the problem is: We are all too busy planning and reaching for the future, thinking about the next step, that we are neglecting the now. Sure, we think, things are fine for now, but it will be much better in a few years. It will be much better when we own a house, or have a bigger house with a large backyard for the kids and a garden, or can put on that bedroom addition. We will be happier when we get that raise, or are able to work just one job instead of 3, and have all the debt paid off. Then we will be happy; then we can relax and live. Then we can really start enjoying life. But the truth is, "then" never really comes. Sure we may accomplish the things that are on our list right now, but what we do we do? We add to it. We are always striving for the next step, and that's ok. That's great actually! We should always be moving forward, but when looking toward the future inhibits our ability to be content with and enjoy the now... when it inhibits our ability to be in the present, that's where the problem lies.

I think that a big part of the reason why memories seem fuzzy and I feel like I missed it is because, in a way, I did. I know that I was there, no one else cleaned the poop off the wall, that was ALLLLL me! But my mind was somewhere else. I resolve to be present, in both body and mind. I will strive to be fully invested in "the now", because "the now" is all we really have. When the next birthday comes around, instead of wondering how I missed it, I will be able to say, "Wow, that went fast! Awesome year, I should know, I was totally there!"

Consistently Inconsistent

There are many things that I struggle with, but if I were to choose just one thing that irritates me the most, it would be my inconsistency. I am consistently inconsistent! I always have been. When I was a kid, I tried more extra-curricular activities than I can remember: ballet, tap, acrobatics, karate, basketball, choir (I actually stuck with that one for a while), cheer-leading, majorettes, color guard, Brownies, violin..... there were probably others. With almost every one, the novelty wore off and I quit. Then there were my childhood report cards. Remember the ones that didn't come with actual grades, but rather "S" for Satisfactory or "E" for Excellent? Well, I received a lot of "I's" for INCONSISTENT!

I wish I could say that my inconsistent nature has changed, but it really hasn't. Why, you ask, is this one of the things that irritates me the most about myself? Surely there are a plethora of other sins that I deal with on a daily basis that can be much more serious than inconsistency, right? Yes, there are plenty of other sin areas that could use work, but this area affects so many aspects of my life. It affects my home, my family and most importantly, my relationship with God. When you have an inconsistent nature, you are surely not going to be naturally consistent with your prayer life and time spent in the Word. That should be our starting point, and if we are not even consistent with our starting point, then how are we to expect that we are going to be consistent with anything else?  I find it difficult to be consistent with everything from housework, to homeschool (even the curriculum I use), to projects and even methods of disciplining my children! This can make for a very chaotic household and for kids that feel unsettled. One day, I was getting ready to implement yet another new schedule for our household. I always have good intentions, I really wanted it to work! I sat the kids down to let them know that we would be starting with a new kind of schedule in the morning and my oldest daughter says to me (respectfully, but honestly), "Yeah, but it only ever lasts for a few days and then we stop." Ouch! They're on to me!

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain" (1Cor 15:58).  Here, at face value, we are being told to spread the Gospel, for that is our most important work, but earlier in 1Corinthians, we are told that all of our work and everything we do is to be done to the honor and glory of God (1Cor 10:31). This verse tells us to be steadfast in our work. To be steadfast means to be firmly fixed or constant, unwavering, not subject to change. I want to be steadfast in the work of the Lord; steadfast in spreading the Gospel, steadfast in my pursuit of a relationship with Him and steadfast in the work that He has given me to do in my home and with my family.

Now, as I mentioned, my inconsistent nature has not changed. I have to fight every day with it. But my desire to conquer it is strong and each day I am winning more of the battles than the day before. Here are a few things that have worked the best for me as I learn to be more consistent:

Get Consistent With Your Prayer Life First
It is only through prayer and God's grace that we can be consistent with anything! If you are having trouble being consistent and you are not already consistent with your prayer life and time in the Word, then this is where you need to begin! This is where you can ask Him to help you in this area!

Set Realistic Expectations
Sure, I know that you would probably like to be diligent and consistent in your prayer life, your housework, homeschool, discipline methods, projects that you start, exercises, daily schedules that you make, everything! But start small. Decide on one or two important areas that you are going to be diligent and consistent with and focus on those things. It could be as simple as deciding that you are going to put a load of laundry in the wash, then the dryer, then fold or hang everything and put it away. Everyday. Consistently. Or maybe you decide that you are going to sign up for that Zumba class and that you are going to commit to go every week, consistently, for the entire two month session that you signed up for. Whatever you choose, just keep it simple and use it as an exercise in consistency. Practice makes perfect and soon you will find it easier to remain more consistent in all areas of your life.  

Keep Yourself Accountable
Find yourself an accountability buddy, preferably one that doesn't already struggle in this area. Nothing says failure like two inconsistent people pledging to be consistent to keep each other accountable in being consistent ;)

Make Inconsistency Inconvenient 
If possible, try and make it really difficult for yourself not to remain consistent. For years I had been committing and re-committing to lessen the amount of TV that we all watch in this household. I was not consistent with this. I would keep the TV off for a few days, and then one day I would wake up and fall right back into the familiar pattern of flicking it on and letting my kids sit in front of it for way too long. Until I made it really inconvenient for us to do so. Out of desperation to be consistent in our resolve to lesson time spent in front of the TV, we got rid of it! Well.... not completely, but we did move it out of the living room and now whenever we want to watch something, we have to carry it in and hook it all up. Furthermore, we have arranged the living room in a way that when we do have the TV out, it's in a really annoying spot and I don't want it to stay in the room after we are done watching it. I was finally able to remain consistent in this decision because it is now very inconvenient not to be!

Do you struggle with inconsistency? What are some ways you have found that helped you to be more consistent?

A Home Full of Blessings, A Home Full of Noise

Hi, I'm Rae! My home is full of noise. Most of it is joyful noise, some of it is not. I try and take joy in all of it! In fact, I am taking joy in it this very moment as Hubby has let me lock myself away in a room so that I can finally get this blog up and running. I hear the screeches and squeals of my 4 children as they echo down the hallway to my room. It sounds joyful out there.... I think. There have been times where Hubby has taken the kids out of the house so that I could get something done, and it's not that I don't enjoy the quiet, I REALLY do! But.... it's weird, almost kind of eerie, because it's not the norm. The norm is noise, and I have come to love the sound of it. This is how it is meant to be. I have a home full of blessings, which for me, equals a home full of noise. 

I haven't always felt this way about the noise level in my home, and yes, of course certain kinds of noise still grate on my nerves. The tattling noise, the whining noise, the kids-being-way-too-rough-and-crazy noise, the sibling arguing noise..... need I go on? None of those are particularly joyful moments, but I have learned to take joy in them anyway, because it comes with the territory of having children and THAT is a joy within itself! I can take joy in the noise of kids being crazy, because it means that they are all home and we are all together. I can even take joy in those whiny or tattling moments, because it means that God has given me a perfect opportunity for instruction.

 Now, I am by no means perfect at this, I still get irritated and impatient as I believe most parents do. I rely on the Lord each day to give me joy and to help me find it even the most unlikely of places. And even when it's hard to find something joyful in the noise of a fit-throwing 3-year-old, I can always look forward to the many other noises that will far outweigh that one. Like the excited yelling of children as their Daddy walks in the door from work, the boisterous laughter that comes from having a silly-face contest, the shouts of, "Hey! Now I get it!" from a child who has been struggling with a math concept, and the loud cheering as they watch their baby sister start taking her first steps with her push-walker. I wouldn't trade that noise for anything!

I hope that you will come visit me here frequently as I write about faith, family, taking care of the home, parenting, homeschooling. I may share some recipes, a funny story or whatever suits my fancy at the moment. What I want most is to be a help and an encouragement to all who visit here, that is my prayer. Whatever I am led to write about, it's likely that I will be doing it with an earful of noise. Preferably the joyful kind.